Music Lyrics Blog

American Idol Simon Cowell's Top 10 Unused Barbs

I realize that this is a music lyrics blog, but I just have to comment about last night's American Idol episode. By now, contestants should know not to try to one-up the music industry icons such as Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Maria Carey, Stevie Wonder or Aretha Franklin.

When they do, however, Simon Cowell is sure to throw the contestants a barb or two. While watching American Idol it occurred to me that there are several insults, however, that Simon Cowell hasn't hurled.

So, here's a list of the top 10 barbs that Simon Cowell may one day use:

1. You remind me of a roofer banging on a weather vane.
2. An organ grinder's monkey chatters better than you sing.
3. That sounded like several bags of cats tied to Mr. Toads Wild Ride.
4. Nails on a blackboard, that's all I have to say.
5. Your shower just called and it wants its singer back.
6. You sounded like a theme park - not a singer - just a theme park.
7. The city pound has better singers than you.
8. That one sounded like a cow giving birth.
9. You sounded like someone in the dental chair, all numbed up, trying to sing.
10. Think of the most annoying sound in the world. Now triple it. That's you!

posted by Muse Dog @ 9:48 AM